fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
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