I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
im about as happy as oj after his trial
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
splinters make it hard to masturbate
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
Randomize