At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
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