hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
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