Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
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