everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
Randomize
