You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
that is very illegal...i love you.
Randomize
