4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
Randomize
