This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
God I need to hump something, right now.
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
Randomize
