i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
When did angry sex become our thing?
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
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