I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
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