I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
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