Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
Randomize
