hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
Watching her eat just hurts me
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." 🙄 🍞🍷
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
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