i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
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