Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
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