If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
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