Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
I checked into jail on foursquare
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
i think we sleep fucked last night...
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