ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
im holly from the hills drunk
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
You left your underwear on the fireplace
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
Randomize
