you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
Randomize