1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
Randomize
