She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
Randomize