ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
please come you make the beer taste better
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
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