So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
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