Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
Randomize
