lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
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