I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
so this carnie looked at me and said "the ride in my pants is funner." i wet myself.
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
I just heard myself say the sentence "I'm gonna go to the bank then take a nap". 8 year old me just slapped my present self through the space-time continuum for being an old fuck.
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
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