I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
