didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
Been in the ER for 3 hours now. This hospitals transition to paperless is not going well. But my doctor looks like Elton John and just gave me percocet
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Randomize