That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
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