Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
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