I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
Randomize
