A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
Randomize
