I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
Randomize
