I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
Randomize
