she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
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