When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
Just took my morning after pill in the library
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
It's 5am and I come home to you naked on the kitchen table and 3 people I never saw before fucking on the back porch ... and my weed gummy worms are gone. fuck you I'm taking your mom's offer
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
Randomize