And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
I hate you so much right now. You got us kicked out of my favorite bar because your drunk ass was hogging the Bluetooth jukebox and would play NOTHING but that goddamn skeleton song. IT'S NOT EVEN OCTOBER YET.
Spopky scrzy skeletonssz
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
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