Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
Randomize
