I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
you were so drunk you tried to use the microwave as a calculator for your BAC
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
Randomize
