She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
Boobs speak an international language.
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize
