I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
Randomize
