Just mADE A PArabola og urine
I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
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