is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
Last night when we were having sex he put the condom on backwards the first time. While he was putting the second one on I blew up the first one, made it into a balloon and hit him in the head with it. I think we're over the honeymoon stage.
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
Randomize
