Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
Just high enough for therapy.
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
Randomize