Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize
