When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
Randomize