i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
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