I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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