Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
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