How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
I've got a tequila scented hand sanitizer for you.
you're the best roommate i could ever have.
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
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