I'd wear matching sweaters with you
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
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i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
Randomize
