Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
Randomize
