so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
she peed on how many people?
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
Randomize
