there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
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