I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
Randomize