so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
Randomize
