Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
I'm at breakfast still drunk holding a blow up parrot
I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
Randomize
