you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
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