Porn is love you can see.
she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
Randomize
