i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
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