Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
