We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
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