did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
Hey cutie is the game almost over? I'm making dinner for us it'll be ready soon. Xox
You would rather make fucking dinner than watch a hockey game that rivals the epic-ness of miracle, the one of the biggest upsets in sport history? Babe I don't know if I can date a girl with such terrible priorities.
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
Randomize
