at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
Randomize